An excellent look at just how terrible one song can be.

“Several things about this song make me angry. Musically, it has always reminded me more of the soundtrack to all the underwater levels in Super Mario World than any Postal Service song. Lyrically, it’s insufferable—dim-witted and vague and blandly cute. But the fiery, molten-lava core of my fury rages and boils when Young comes to the second chorus, which contains the lines, “I’d get a thousand hugs / From ten thousand lightning bugs / As they tried to teach me how to dance.” To understand how I feel when I hear these words uttered in this song please just imagine yourself experiencing exactly what is described in that chorus: A thousand hugs, not just from anyone—not your mom or your boyfriend or your dear darling aunt Hilda—but from ten thousand lightning bugs. Young does not specify whether these are individual hugs or if they are administered en masse, but either way, that is just appalling. Picture it: Ten thousand bugs crawling and clinging and cleaving to your body—ostensibly teaching you how to dance but probably just getting all up in your nose and in your ears and down your shorts and in all sorts of places you do not want bugs to go—hugging you not once, not twice, not one hundred times, but one thousand times each.

If you’re not so hot with the brain-maths, that’s ten million lightning bug hugs.”